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- Why I'm giving up on online dating;
My experiences with online dating have run the gamut from truly awful to absolutely wonderful. I have been on first dates that would make even the most seasoned daters cringe and I have been on first dates that were absolutely perfect from beginning to end. Well, maybe I should say that I have been on one first date that was perfect. My first foray into the wild world of online dating happened shortly after college.
Online dating was still a very new phenomenon and many of my friends were horrified by the idea of putting up a profile declaring my "single and searching" status for anyone and everyone to see. But I was, in fact, single and I did want to meet someone. So I listened to my instincts, and I put myself out there.
I chatted with a handful of guys, but never felt enough of a connection with anyone to schedule an in-person meeting. I feared that my friends were right and that I would not be able to find someone "normal" online, so I shut down my profile. Several months later, I met someone through some mutual friends and we began to date. It started off intensely passionate, but after a matter of months, it became clear that we were not compatible.
I spent the usual amount of time moping about the end of the relationship before deciding that maybe I should give online dating another chance. By this point, the Facebook frenzy was in full swing and it seemed that more and more people were making connections in the virtual world. I created another profile and was pleased to see that there appeared to be more people on the dating site than before. I exchanged winks and emails, and even met up with a few guys for a beer or coffee, but always left crestfallen when there was no spark.
Was I having bad luck? Or was online dating just inevitably frustrating? I was glad when, once again, a friend came to my aid and set me up with one of her grad school classmates, who happened to live in my neighborhood. He had pretty eyes and a warm smile and, like me, loved exploring different cuisines, studying psychology and spending time in nature. We dated for about a year before we realized that we were more compatible as friends than as romantic partners.
After we broke up, I went through the longest spell of singledom of my entire adult life. We saw each other almost every day for about six months.
After 10 Years, Here's Why I’m Over Online Dating | HuffPost
Naturally, I thought we were having an exclusive relationship. A friend advised me that he had contacted her on another dating site and I eventually discovered he was active on four other sites. I decided to confront him. He fervently denied it. I would never have discussed this without proof so I had print outs of his activities in a folder which I then handed to him. Eventually I decided to give online dating another go as I had no chance of meeting a man any other way in my small village.
5 Reasons Why I Quit Online Dating and Never Looked Back
Over the six months I was on the dating sites I was contacted by around 2, men although about 60 per cent were scammers. I made contact with 38 and had dates with 9 and sex with 1 suitable prospect. I was definitely only looking for someone in my own socio economic group and found the quality of most men on the internet unsuitable.
Overall most were tragics. Many had also lost their independence in divorce. Then Matthew came back into my life and I fell straight into his arms.
I knew that his past behavior was a prediction of what his future behavior was going to be, but I threw caution to the wind. No surprise in an environment where the number of men is high and the only thing to go off are pictures and self-indulgent profile write-ups. Reading profiles, writing messages and setting up dates is much more drawn out than simply approaching a girl and inviting her out.
In the real world, these things are established in real time; you know instantaneously if you are physically attracted and after a short conversation, you can establish whether this is someone who you might want to hang with.
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Even if she is not into you, you can find out right away and move on instead of reading profiles, crafting messages and waiting for responses. I concede that, despite these obstacles, for those who understand how the game works and know how to play it, online dating can deliver great results. But hiding behind a computer to get dates, does not make you any better with women or help you in other areas of your life. On the other hand, learning how to approach and attract women in the real world has the added benefit of growing your confidence, developing better social skills and actually teaching you something about the opposite sex.
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- 'Why I gave up on online dating' | SBS News?
Hey Brad, I am happy to hear that you are disenchanted with the medium rather than the people on the other side. Its a level headed way of thinking.